Halos and Horns
by CrazyJaney
Summary: Kaoru has both a shoulder angel and a shoulder devil, only they haven't met yet. What happens when the two clash and give their ideas on Kaoru's relationship with Kenshin? R&R! Plz! (one shot)


A/N: hee hee. just a little ficcie about when kaoru's shoulder angel met her shoulder devil and the battousai was introduced to the rurouni. hope it's funni i thought so. luv ya lots!

Halos and Horns

"Kaoru, dearest, you need to look within you to find your feelings concerning Kenshin. The answer is already in your heart, you just need to find it," Kaoru's shoulder angel assured her as she disappeared off her shoulder.

"Screw that! I don't who that is, but you should just seduce him and then screw him, aswell asthe situation. You can discover feelings in the bed, I always find that works," Kaoru's shoulder devil replaced the angel and then she too disappeared.

"Oh, what do I do?" Kaoru asked herself.

"Do what Kaoru-dono?"

"Ahh! Kenshin! You startled me," she exclaimed, putting her hand over her heart.

"Sessha is sorry, but are you okay? You've been looking from one shoulder to the other," Kenshin told her. She blushed and muttered a hasty apology before entering her room.

"That still doesn't answer my question," she said out loud.

"I told you, Kaoru-chan, you have the answer, just give your heart time to explore it and embrace it."

"Wait! Don't go!" she cried in dismay.

"Aw, forget whoever the hell that was and just listen to me. Look, you have to get him while he's sleeping. You slip into his room with some rope," Kaoru's shoulder devil started.

"Rope? What for?"

"I was getting to it. You tie his arms above his head and then you strip him down. After that you strip too, Wake him up with kisses across his face and chest, make sure you rub up against him, too."

"W-wait! I've never, I mean I, I'M STILL A VIRGIN!!" Kaoru yelled.

"Then after this you won't be."

"What is all this I'm hearing!? Surely this isn't your mind Kaoru-chan!" Kaoru's shoulder angel appeared, just as her shoulder devil disappeared.

"No, it wasn't!"

"Then what was it? Your not married! You shouldn't be thinking of such things! You could become pregnant!"

"I know! It was another little me! Only she was dressed in a short clingy red dress, and she had horns, a tail and a real sword," Kaoru desperately tried to explain herself.

"Yes, and I'm the devil. Goodness! The devil! Kami warned me of this! He said that he'd recently had a card game with the devil and when he won, he received a little devil Kaoru!" Kaoru's shoulder angel seemed shocked.

"Oh! So I wasn't imagining it?"

"No, she is as real as I am."

"Then she really isn't real?" Kaoru was confused. She thought her shoulder angel was a figment dug from the depths of her overactive imagination.

"No! I am real! I was sent to you by Kami-Sama! And she was sent to you by the devil!"

"Is she the one giving me all those," she blushed furiously, her cheeks a deep crimson, "indecent dreams about me and Kenshin?"

"You didn't tell me about those! I forbid you to even think such dirty things until after you are married! But! Yes, I think she is the one."

"Damn straight."

"Who said that" Kaoru's shoulder angel demanded.

"Over here, dumb ass!"

"Oh! So it is you!"

"No shit sherlock! Who'd you think it was?"

"Calm down you two," Kaoru tried to reason.

"Shut up!" they both snapped.

"Geez, just trying to help," she muttered.

"Well your not. How dare you make her wait for sex! It's something every normal girl her age is doing!" Kaoru's shoulder devil yelled at Kaoru's shoulder angel.

"Me?! How dare you put such naughty thoughts in her mind! They aren't married! One should be married before doing such things!"

"No, if you look at Megumi, she and Sano aren't married, but they do it every night!" she retorted.

"Well, apparently I have to talk to her angel! I'm sure you are well aquatinted with her devil!" she bit out.

"Yes, I am! And she feels sorry for Kaoru-chan! She says she doesn't know what she's missing!"

"Oh yeah? I think Kaoru-chan can wait!"

"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT THE HELL UP!!" Kaoru interrupted.

"Kaoru-dono? Are you alright?" Kenshin asked from outside of her shoji.

"Get him in your bed," Kaoru's shoulder angel immediately proposed.

"Tell him how you feel," Kaoru's shoulder angel said right after. Then they started to argue again.

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin repeated.

"Both of you! I can't think! You telling me to get some out of it! And you telling me to confess! I can't even think for myself anymore," she whined.

"But no girl your age should be deprived the way you have been, I mean even Misao has had sex with Aoshi," her devil pointed out.

"Really? I didn't know Misao-chan would go through with it! She said she had been thinking of seducing him into her bed, but...." Kaoru asked.

"Her angel sucks, always hyper and very agreeing," her angel put in.

Outside her shoji.....

"Jsut do it," Kenshin's shoulder devil, better known as the Battousai was telling him.

"But Kaoru-dono is innocent!" his shoulder angel, better known as the rurouni argued.

"Nothing cheers a girl her age up like sex, besides, what would a man who wears pink know about anything?" Battousai retorted.

"It's not pink! It's magenta de gozaru! And! I think you should just tell her how you feel," the rurouni told him.

"You two are so impossible, will you just let me think for myself? You," he said looking at the rurouni, "constantly rule my daily life. And you," he said looking at the Battousai, "rule my dreams. Could I please rule this moment?"

"NO!!" they agreed on one thing.

In Kaoru's room....

"I'm still all for my plan," devil Kaoru said.

"Well I'm not!"

"Look, you," she said to the angel, "make my appearance and my how I act during the day, except for the beating up Yahiko, which is her, who also," she continued turning to the devil, "create all my dreams. I would for one, like to make this moment, myself."

"No!!" they both agreed.

"Onegai?! I promise I'll tell him my feelings," she persuaded the angel, "and if I can maybe take things further than a kiss if he feels the same," she convinced the devil.

"Alright," they said in unison.

Outside her shoji.....

"Onegai? I'll tell her how I feel," he pleaded with the rurouni, "and I'll go further than a kiss if she allows me to," he begged with the Battousai.

"Alright," they said as one.

"Kaoru-dono? Can I come in?" Kenshin asked through her door, dropping the sessha.

In Kaoru's room.....

Her shoulder counterparts had disappeared and were watching from heaven and hell.

"Kaoru-dono? Can I come in?" she heard him ask, without the sessha.

"Hai, Kenshin, you can come in," she answered.

"Kaoru, I have to tell you since the day I met you," he took a deep breath, knowing the rurouni was watching from his mind, "aishiteru."

"Oh! Kenshin! Aishiteru! Me too!" she threw her arms around his neck as he moved closer.

He dipped his head in and kissed her, and from the urging of the Battousai, slipped his tongue in her mouth. She responded to his kiss with equal ardor, earning a satisfied cry from her shoulder devil.

"I did my part," she said as the two fell back onto Kaoru's futon.

"You did well. I did better though," the angel said from heaven.

"What was that?! You just met me you bitch! Bring it! I'll kick your sorry angel ass!"

"Now, now. I can't believe I let her do this," she sighed as Kenshin's hands found her obi.

In Kenshin's head.....

"Whoo hoo! I'm going to enjoy this!" Battousai said, taking out his microwave popcorn.

"I still think they should have waited, I mean they're not married," the rurouni said, eyeing the amount of Kaoru's flesh Kenshin had exposed.

"I don't. Just look at that body! I mean, come on! You can't say you don't like what you see!" the Battousai argued.

"Not that, it's just not right. And you, how you made him dream of this and want it all the time. That was not fair," the rurouni told him.

"Whatever, he'll propose in the morning, or I'll kick his ass personally, okay?"

"Fine, as long as he does it and they get married," the rurouni reluctantly agreed.

And so Kaoru's shoulder angel met Kaoru's shoulder devil for the first time. And the Battousai was introduced to his counterpart, the rurouni, that he would hate for the end of time. All was happy since, both Kenshin and Kaoru were allowed to live as them, only seeing their voices and people when they were alone.

Owari


End file.
